paco knew he could be a great matador. knew that he would have no fear. he met his end at the hands of a pessimist holding an arm chair and two steak knives. Hemingway wrote that one, i've just read it a few hundred times.
thought about it and have decided that many of us are strong in our minds. we are conquerors, until we face that which is unexpected. we play a good game. dipping and shaking at the right time and begging to take the bull by the horns. we succeed a lot, however, it just takes one shot in the gut to put us down for good.
to be a great matador in life one must recognize that at any given moment you will get stuck by the most unlikely foe. when things in life are good, when you finally have this crazy game figured out and have decided that you are the master of your own destiny, you will be blindsided.
biggest question for me is: how do i react?
i can fold up, question the causes, faint disbelief and give up OR i can scream out to the one i have ignored for so long, beg forgiveness for my arrogance, accept my consequences and fight back one step at a time. would love to say that i always fight on. for that matter, would be great to lie to you and say that i have never tried it on my own.
i am on the floor, bloody and disgusted frequently. have given up more than once only to find myself sinking in the abyss of my "mastery" in this life. thank you GOD for being kind enough to forgive. thank you for being the ultimate matador in my life.
" be merciful to me , o GOD, for men hotly pursue me; all day long they press their attack. my slanderers pursue me all day long; many are attacking me in their pride.
when i am afraid, i will trust in you. in GOD, whose word i praise, in GOD i trust; i will not be afraid. what can mortal man do to me?" Psalms 56: 1-4 niv
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happy fourth of July! let us be thankful and prayerful not only for our Independence, but for the courage to stand up and be counted on to do the right things for ourselves and for the millions of others in our world begging ( and dying) for freedom. in GOD we trust!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
thank you
how many of us can say we were in country for the overthrow/ouster/ coup of a president? well, i know one. my nephew was in honduras when Zalaya was "replaced" as president. thankfully, he is home. safe and sound as of 10:30 pm sunday night.
what a cool story to tell. although his group was stashed away safely at Baxter most of his trip, he was still there. politics has always intrigued me and to be among the people of a foreign land while they struggled thru a constitutional crisis ( and come out better?) seems too cool for words.
GOD has a way of putting us in situations that reinforce his greatness and allows us to grow our trust in HIM.
aside from the political news, it seems that they had another successful mission. they were able to grow the reputation of GOD in a land that is so in need of it. VBS was a success, haven't heard how great the turnout was but i know that the good news was spread to many young minds.
thanks for the prayers, ( yes, i still know that no one reads) and please continue to pray for the country of honduras and of course, for the good ol' USA!
what a cool story to tell. although his group was stashed away safely at Baxter most of his trip, he was still there. politics has always intrigued me and to be among the people of a foreign land while they struggled thru a constitutional crisis ( and come out better?) seems too cool for words.
GOD has a way of putting us in situations that reinforce his greatness and allows us to grow our trust in HIM.
aside from the political news, it seems that they had another successful mission. they were able to grow the reputation of GOD in a land that is so in need of it. VBS was a success, haven't heard how great the turnout was but i know that the good news was spread to many young minds.
thanks for the prayers, ( yes, i still know that no one reads) and please continue to pray for the country of honduras and of course, for the good ol' USA!
Friday, June 26, 2009
in case anyone stumbles onto this blog (unlikely, just covering my bases) please consider a few people from the bixby church in your prayers this weekend as they try to return from Honduras. seems that the political unrest there has shaken up the trip and left some wondering if they will be allowed to leave as scheduled. Honduras has a strong grasp on mi familia and prayers for the leadership of the country would also be greatly appreciated.
my nephew is 15 and in Honduras for the 4/5 time. great kid, great drive to do right by GOD, hoping this little struggle doesn't discourage his mission heart. HOPE this is just a little struggle in a small, underdeveloped country that holds so much potential in the kingdom. thanks for throwing up your prayers.
my nephew is 15 and in Honduras for the 4/5 time. great kid, great drive to do right by GOD, hoping this little struggle doesn't discourage his mission heart. HOPE this is just a little struggle in a small, underdeveloped country that holds so much potential in the kingdom. thanks for throwing up your prayers.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
rejected?
i am not at all faithful to blogging. have tried it a few different times and lasted a few months before just giving up on it completely. i hate to admit it, but my best thoughts are found while mowing the grass. just me, the lawnmower and isreal, charlie hall or whoever is playing on the ipod. if i could find someway to harness the creativity, the insight i have when simply pushing the lawnmower life (and this blog) would indeed be easier.
(they say Sam Walton carried a recorder everywhere he went and faithfully used the thing to turn wal mart into the huge monopoly it is today. no good idea was ever wasted and the bad ones were sifted thru and forgotten.)
anyway, got me thinking. how many times are our ideas left on the table to die? they just weren't important enough to consider, didn't have enough flare to justify the time spent or just too darn hard to fulfill. i would venture to say that a lot of our forgotten ideas are better than the ones we put into practice. the return more valuable because the time spent.
today was not a lawn day so bear with me and lets see if my idea of the moment is worth anything: viewing souls in the same light that i view my ideas.
some of us are a perfect fit. easy to love, eager to learn, therefore, our souls are worth fighting for. others of us are a little rough around the edges. maybe we question traditions? or we have a past that scares folks? we will make it a little more than difficult for you to reach us. our walls are built high and they are built thick but with a little persistence and a whole lot of God we can be touched and eventually touch the lives of others like us.
i have turned my back on many that seemed too hard. heck, i have on more than one occasion turned on myself. given up because all the skeletons in my past. it has become more habit and not even recognized. the kid on the street that has 8 brothers and sisters, no father and an absent mother is too hard to be saved. his oldest brother is in prison and that's where he'll end up. too much work to do to save this one kid when there are so many easier souls to deal with.
we have been so wrong to shelve difficult souls the same way we do with tough ideas. one soul in Christ is as equal as any other, however, the harder God works thru you to reach the most desperate, the most unwinable the greater the hunger to do it again. we have missed the bus on so many folks/ ideas just because we were scared of the fight. God bless 1 timothy 1:15
"we know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth!" maxie dunham
(they say Sam Walton carried a recorder everywhere he went and faithfully used the thing to turn wal mart into the huge monopoly it is today. no good idea was ever wasted and the bad ones were sifted thru and forgotten.)
anyway, got me thinking. how many times are our ideas left on the table to die? they just weren't important enough to consider, didn't have enough flare to justify the time spent or just too darn hard to fulfill. i would venture to say that a lot of our forgotten ideas are better than the ones we put into practice. the return more valuable because the time spent.
today was not a lawn day so bear with me and lets see if my idea of the moment is worth anything: viewing souls in the same light that i view my ideas.
some of us are a perfect fit. easy to love, eager to learn, therefore, our souls are worth fighting for. others of us are a little rough around the edges. maybe we question traditions? or we have a past that scares folks? we will make it a little more than difficult for you to reach us. our walls are built high and they are built thick but with a little persistence and a whole lot of God we can be touched and eventually touch the lives of others like us.
i have turned my back on many that seemed too hard. heck, i have on more than one occasion turned on myself. given up because all the skeletons in my past. it has become more habit and not even recognized. the kid on the street that has 8 brothers and sisters, no father and an absent mother is too hard to be saved. his oldest brother is in prison and that's where he'll end up. too much work to do to save this one kid when there are so many easier souls to deal with.
we have been so wrong to shelve difficult souls the same way we do with tough ideas. one soul in Christ is as equal as any other, however, the harder God works thru you to reach the most desperate, the most unwinable the greater the hunger to do it again. we have missed the bus on so many folks/ ideas just because we were scared of the fight. God bless 1 timothy 1:15
"we know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth!" maxie dunham
Monday, June 22, 2009
a bit from Romans
"But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day to day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. the night is about over, dawn is about to break. be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. we cant afford to miss a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. get out of bed and get dressed! don't loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!" Romans 13:11-14 the message
isn't that just amazing? love the message and the simplicity of the words.
absorbed so much in my day to day that i actually have the nerve to pray to God about my job, my bills or my selfish impulses. didn't pray for his guidance in my kingdom life, just asked that he would give me direction on ...
find it pathetic that we ask for this and for that but we seldom ask that God direct us to save a soul daily. never mention in our sacred prayer time the homeless guy begging under the overpass, the single mom struggling to feed her kids, the druggie that's only hope is Christ.
we miss opportunities to dress ourselves in Christ and be up and about. the words of the above verse ring truly, night is over, dawn is about to break.
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"truth is a demure lady, much too ladylike to knock you on the head and drag you to her cave. she is there, but the people must want her and seek her out." William F. Buckley, Jr.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
how important is my job?
considering job changes lately. actually considered for the last 6 months and it has been taxing on my soul and tough on the family. the idea of packing up and moving to some place i don't know, don't care about and really have no desire to be for the sake of making a little more money is daunting. my mind has been enveloped by this for too long.
finally, found myself in prayer. 1 Corinthians 7 was laid on my heart and i read it in hopes of finding a decision. marriage? lord, why would you have me read about marriage when my deepest prayers have been about career?
vs. 17 nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him.
vs. 23 you were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
these two verses struck me as more than just marriage speak, although i am certain that the situation could definitely cause a strain on my marriage. the words God put on my heart were that I am where he wants me. Gods reasons have been different from mine. he has expectations for us in Tulsa and we haven't met them yet.
i pray that i am correctly reading his advice on this situation. too many years of doing my thing and not enough time on his thing. his purpose in my life is no different than the purpose in your life. his idea is that we all stop putting limitations on his movement, follow his lead or at the least get out of his way and let him move us to greatness.
can we grow spiritually while ignoring the slightest nudge from God? will i ever grow up into his expectations if i ignore the answers to my prayers?
i have been a slave. a slave to the will of my earthly puppeteers. it is too late to change the past, however, today is a new day. today i will heed the advice of my heavenly father and let him pull my strings!
" what i do today is important because i am exchanging a day of my life for it." Hugh Mulligan
finally, found myself in prayer. 1 Corinthians 7 was laid on my heart and i read it in hopes of finding a decision. marriage? lord, why would you have me read about marriage when my deepest prayers have been about career?
vs. 17 nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord has assigned to him and to which God has called him.
vs. 23 you were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.
these two verses struck me as more than just marriage speak, although i am certain that the situation could definitely cause a strain on my marriage. the words God put on my heart were that I am where he wants me. Gods reasons have been different from mine. he has expectations for us in Tulsa and we haven't met them yet.
i pray that i am correctly reading his advice on this situation. too many years of doing my thing and not enough time on his thing. his purpose in my life is no different than the purpose in your life. his idea is that we all stop putting limitations on his movement, follow his lead or at the least get out of his way and let him move us to greatness.
can we grow spiritually while ignoring the slightest nudge from God? will i ever grow up into his expectations if i ignore the answers to my prayers?
i have been a slave. a slave to the will of my earthly puppeteers. it is too late to change the past, however, today is a new day. today i will heed the advice of my heavenly father and let him pull my strings!
" what i do today is important because i am exchanging a day of my life for it." Hugh Mulligan
Sunday, June 14, 2009
more than talk
my little niece! graduated high school a few weeks ago, traveled to the dominican on a mission and this week working with inner city kids at summer camp. its been a busy month, actually a really busy three weeks and she loves it. her spirit isnt the kind that we talk about, its the kind of spirit that we see. she does it, she lives it and has been living it for years.
18 years old and has accomplished more for the lord than most adults i know. i'll narrow that down, 18 years old and she has done more to grow the kingdom than i have in my 36 years of life. god bless her!
18 years old and has accomplished more for the lord than most adults i know. i'll narrow that down, 18 years old and she has done more to grow the kingdom than i have in my 36 years of life. god bless her!
Friday, June 12, 2009
think on this
" it is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you feel you can do so little. do what you can!" sydney smith
with a few fish and a few loaves of bread jesus fed thousands.
with a stick in his hand ( and the faith of thousands) moses parted the red sea and freed thousands from bondage
with one small stone a little boy toppled a giant and helped lay the foundation of faith that millions of us survive on so many years later.
our offering in kingdom life may seem so miniscule that we are embarassed by it. it may seem so small that we overlook it, so tiny that we count on someone else to do it. but we must do what we can!
our nothingness could be the spark that ignites a blaze of life into folks more broken than we.
i personally focus on the big stuff. i cant preach, i cant sing, i cant write, i cant... so i resign myself to doing nothing. the gifts have been given to others, they have the honor of growing the kingdom. i sit back and let them work, so as to not get in their way.
my mindset has been so scarring to myself and to my family. my people have seen me do nothing and in seeing my lack of action they have fallen into the same pit. we have to do something, do what we can.
with a few fish and a few loaves of bread jesus fed thousands.
with a stick in his hand ( and the faith of thousands) moses parted the red sea and freed thousands from bondage
with one small stone a little boy toppled a giant and helped lay the foundation of faith that millions of us survive on so many years later.
our offering in kingdom life may seem so miniscule that we are embarassed by it. it may seem so small that we overlook it, so tiny that we count on someone else to do it. but we must do what we can!
our nothingness could be the spark that ignites a blaze of life into folks more broken than we.
i personally focus on the big stuff. i cant preach, i cant sing, i cant write, i cant... so i resign myself to doing nothing. the gifts have been given to others, they have the honor of growing the kingdom. i sit back and let them work, so as to not get in their way.
my mindset has been so scarring to myself and to my family. my people have seen me do nothing and in seeing my lack of action they have fallen into the same pit. we have to do something, do what we can.
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